Medium’s New Clap Policy

Back in the day, there was just love. Now there is Clap.

To be sure, there are consequences to love — but Clap? And we’re not talking about just any Clap, here. Medium has made it possible to have a mild Clap, or a really severe case involving multiple Claps.

What, you may ask, is the point? Why include several varieties of Clap, why introduce heterogeneity to the case definition, and what, if I may be so bold as to ask, is the case definition? Are we Clapping very slowly, then speeding up to indicate a rapid progression, or are we simply Clapping once to indicate a condition that will soon fade? When we Clap multiple times, does it mean the End is Near? Does one person’s singular Clap have more weight than another’s multiple Claps, or several people’s singular Claps? Is there ironic Clap?

In other words, are all Claps equal in the eyes of God — or Medium?

(And for those who are disabled, what is the sound of one hand Clapping?)

The world is confusing enough without introducing new, possibly lethal and/or discriminatory, forms of Clap.

Resist.